It's amazing how a simple game of go fish with my niece, nephew and sister n law was the highlight of my day. I got a lot accomplished today, it was a very good day! But I must say it was in the intense moments of playing GO FISH that I saw God's face the clearest. He was in the smiles around the table, He is the source of the love that binds us, and He is the peace in being satisfied, gratified even in life's simplest pleasures, such as, a game of Go Fish!
You are so beautiful...
Monday, January 24, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
A sense of home...
So I've been down in Martin County for a few days now. If you've ever been here then you know it does not take long before you have to "look for something to do" and with everyone else at school and work that is exactly what I did this afternoon. I was lead to the blue hat box that sits in the corner of my room, I like to call it my box of life. All the special things people have said to me, made for me or given me reside in this box. As I was looking through the stuff I found numerous letters of appreciation for the love I give, a bunch of birthday wishes, my daddy telling me how no one on this earth compares to me and how I'll always be his little girl :). Everything in this box holds sentimental value, every single item special to me, most of it brought tears and some of it made me laugh.
But, for whatever reason this one simple striped card said something to me that I hold so incredibly dear to my heart. It was written by the one and only Amanda Rich in the time that I was coming back to the Lord, a time when I was so lost but had been found. And, though she said a lot to me in those days and in this particular card it was this one sentence that stood out then and non surprisingly now. " God has blessed you with an awesome family and a true sense of home and self." "Never let anyone or anything question your independence from this world or you dependence on God." So, why is that so special to me simply because having a "sense of home" is defining to me. I have never forgotten where I come from and nor will I, so even if I spend the rest of my days in Wake County or the other side of the ocean, it's my home that will always ground me. It's not so much about the geographically location but rather the loyalty that lays in HOME. There are few few pure places in this world anymore, but HOME is one of those few. I understand what it means to truely appreciate where I came from, the "house" I was brought up in, and the person that both combined have made me. I am from a place where we give business to our friends and our business is our friends business. I am pierced by knowing what it looks like to be poor and happy with what God has given you, I will always have a heart for giving cause where I come from everyone is family and we take care of our family. And, even now that I live in the land of opportunity, I invest in my home. If it means I drive an hour to worship with those I've always loved, or make the drive to cheer on a kid in a softball game, or have my car worked on just because NO ONE but Mr. Arthur fixes my car. It's a type of loyalty and love that most never get to experience and the reminder of it in the midst being here looking out across the open fields just gave me that sense of safety, an assuring hope. When I feel the weight of the world, of the nastiness of it all I tend to head home because like I said home is one of the only PURE places there is anymore. And, the fact that I can count on my home being pure is a blessing with and in itself. When I think about that, I get so anxious and excited about my future home in heaven. It's almost unfathomable to grasp a sense of that home, of a home that is truly "pure". A home that will be even better than the one I so greatly adore right now. Oh wow isn't that something to ponder...
But, for whatever reason this one simple striped card said something to me that I hold so incredibly dear to my heart. It was written by the one and only Amanda Rich in the time that I was coming back to the Lord, a time when I was so lost but had been found. And, though she said a lot to me in those days and in this particular card it was this one sentence that stood out then and non surprisingly now. " God has blessed you with an awesome family and a true sense of home and self." "Never let anyone or anything question your independence from this world or you dependence on God." So, why is that so special to me simply because having a "sense of home" is defining to me. I have never forgotten where I come from and nor will I, so even if I spend the rest of my days in Wake County or the other side of the ocean, it's my home that will always ground me. It's not so much about the geographically location but rather the loyalty that lays in HOME. There are few few pure places in this world anymore, but HOME is one of those few. I understand what it means to truely appreciate where I came from, the "house" I was brought up in, and the person that both combined have made me. I am from a place where we give business to our friends and our business is our friends business. I am pierced by knowing what it looks like to be poor and happy with what God has given you, I will always have a heart for giving cause where I come from everyone is family and we take care of our family. And, even now that I live in the land of opportunity, I invest in my home. If it means I drive an hour to worship with those I've always loved, or make the drive to cheer on a kid in a softball game, or have my car worked on just because NO ONE but Mr. Arthur fixes my car. It's a type of loyalty and love that most never get to experience and the reminder of it in the midst being here looking out across the open fields just gave me that sense of safety, an assuring hope. When I feel the weight of the world, of the nastiness of it all I tend to head home because like I said home is one of the only PURE places there is anymore. And, the fact that I can count on my home being pure is a blessing with and in itself. When I think about that, I get so anxious and excited about my future home in heaven. It's almost unfathomable to grasp a sense of that home, of a home that is truly "pure". A home that will be even better than the one I so greatly adore right now. Oh wow isn't that something to ponder...
a descriptive blog...
this is just sorta a light hearted message explaining why I am about to post 3 blogs in one day! See the thing is believe it or not I really don't sit in front of the computer that much to write, but I do write ALOT. Most of this I am about to post was written somewhere else along the course of the past two weeks, I am just now getting around to sharing it with you.... so stay tuned for where my heart and head have been as of late.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
I'm putting God at the... bottom?
At the bottom of my body are my feet, at the bottom of my Jeep are the tires, at the bottom of my new basketball goal is the sand that holds it down, and at the bottom of my home is the foundation! I was just on Facebook as I typically am, and I saw that a friend of mine had posted this status: "I'm trying to put God at the bottom". At first I was like, dude you have it all wrong, God should be at the top. Then the more I thought through it, I said yes, that makes perfect sense. God should be at the bottom, as God should be our foundation. On Him and in Him is where our very being should stand. All of life should be built upon Him. In every decision I make, in every action I commit, in every word I say, it should glorify the Lord whom is my foundation. The sturdiness of my being is based upon my foundation. The more I love the Lord, the more I seek the Lord, the more I fear the Lord the stronger my foundation will be. My house will NOT be built on sand, for only with a strong foundation will things remain standing. So, thanks Zack for your post as it got me thinking what it really is like to put Jesus at the bottom. What do I and my lifesong look like when Jesus is my SOLE foundation???
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Just call me Hannah, as of late. (truly written on Jan 4, 2011)
Waiting is one of the hardest things to do, especially when it's for weeks, months, years?.... I'd like to say that as I wait I serve the Lord, and I move ahead bold and confident just like the song says. But, I'd be lying if I said that! Recently, I have been far away from bold and I'm not even sure I've had confidence in the Lord for a great while. Until, now. Until the burden of life, of disappointments, pain and other's pain got to be to heavy to bear. Not until I was overwhelmed by the reaffirmation of the love of Christ through HIS people that I love. I will admit that my heart has been frail and my faith lacking over the course of few months, but in that agony and bitterness of my soul, just like Hannah I've wept! And, eventually my weeping brought me to my knees and I prayed!
As always God heard my cry, he sent messengers to remind of his acknowledgement of my disperate plea for him to hear me. I needed His arms to surround me, for Him to hold my hand, to hear me cry, and he DID. I know this is true because in the last two days, I have been met right where I was by those I love who listened, held my hand and let me cry. I am quiet sure that many recently have thought just like Eli, that I was drunken ( in an off state of mind) because to you it looks like life is all together and I've got it good. Trust me, I do have it GREAT, but my life is far from together. In the agony of my brokenness, and the tauting of my soul from such strong desires I fell away from the Lord. Now, I am here to say that again just like Hannah " my heart rejoices in the Lord; in the Lord my horn is lifted high. My mouth boasts over my enemies for I delight in your deliverance." 2. " There is NO ONE Holy like the Lord; there is NO ONE besides you, there is NO rock like our God. (1. Sam 2 1-2) This is my true confirmation that God heard me because in my hearts new prayer it isn't about what I want or think I need right now, it's utterly about the Father and his undying love for me. It is all I need to know, that God is sovereign and he understands my wants and he will remember. I too just like Hannah, have learned over these past couple months that it is God and only He who will make my life complete. No matter what I yearn for or ache to have the Lord is enough for me! I say this in awe. So in this I see many brighter days ahead as I will stop concentrating on my "needs" and instead on God. Scripture says over and over, wait on the Lord..... so God and all those who love me enough to read this, I say with such a gracious hear.... I'm waiting.
As always God heard my cry, he sent messengers to remind of his acknowledgement of my disperate plea for him to hear me. I needed His arms to surround me, for Him to hold my hand, to hear me cry, and he DID. I know this is true because in the last two days, I have been met right where I was by those I love who listened, held my hand and let me cry. I am quiet sure that many recently have thought just like Eli, that I was drunken ( in an off state of mind) because to you it looks like life is all together and I've got it good. Trust me, I do have it GREAT, but my life is far from together. In the agony of my brokenness, and the tauting of my soul from such strong desires I fell away from the Lord. Now, I am here to say that again just like Hannah " my heart rejoices in the Lord; in the Lord my horn is lifted high. My mouth boasts over my enemies for I delight in your deliverance." 2. " There is NO ONE Holy like the Lord; there is NO ONE besides you, there is NO rock like our God. (1. Sam 2 1-2) This is my true confirmation that God heard me because in my hearts new prayer it isn't about what I want or think I need right now, it's utterly about the Father and his undying love for me. It is all I need to know, that God is sovereign and he understands my wants and he will remember. I too just like Hannah, have learned over these past couple months that it is God and only He who will make my life complete. No matter what I yearn for or ache to have the Lord is enough for me! I say this in awe. So in this I see many brighter days ahead as I will stop concentrating on my "needs" and instead on God. Scripture says over and over, wait on the Lord..... so God and all those who love me enough to read this, I say with such a gracious hear.... I'm waiting.
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