Just call me Hannah, as of late. (truly written on Jan 4, 2011)

Waiting is one of the hardest things to do, especially when it's for weeks, months, years?.... I'd like to say that as I wait I serve the Lord, and I move ahead bold and confident just like the song says. But, I'd be lying if I said that! Recently, I have been far away from bold and I'm not even sure I've had confidence in the Lord for a great while. Until, now. Until the burden of life, of disappointments, pain and other's pain got to be to heavy to bear. Not until I was overwhelmed by the reaffirmation of the love of Christ through HIS people that I love. I will admit that my heart has been frail and my faith lacking over the course of few months, but in that agony and bitterness of my soul, just like Hannah I've wept! And, eventually my weeping brought me to my knees and I prayed! 
As always God heard my cry, he sent messengers to remind of his acknowledgement of my disperate plea for him to hear me. I needed His arms to surround me, for Him to hold my hand, to hear me cry, and he DID. I know this is true because in the last two days, I have been met right where I was by those I love who listened, held my hand and let me cry. I am quiet sure that many recently have thought just like Eli, that I was drunken ( in an off state of mind) because to you it looks like life is all together and I've got it good. Trust me, I do have it GREAT, but my life is far from together. In the agony of my brokenness, and the tauting of my soul from such strong desires I fell away from the Lord. Now, I am here to say that again just like Hannah " my heart rejoices in the Lord; in the Lord my horn is lifted high. My mouth boasts over my enemies for I delight in your deliverance." 2. " There is NO ONE Holy like the Lord; there is NO ONE besides you, there is NO rock like our God. (1. Sam 2 1-2)  This is my true confirmation that God heard me because in my hearts new prayer it isn't about what I want or think I need right now, it's utterly about the Father and his undying love for me. It is all I need to know, that God is sovereign and he understands my wants and he will remember. I too just like Hannah, have learned over these past couple months that it is God and only He who will make my life complete. No matter what I yearn for or ache to have the Lord is enough for me! I say this in awe. So in this I see many brighter days ahead as I will stop concentrating on my "needs" and instead on God. Scripture says over and over, wait on the Lord..... so God and all those who love me enough to read this, I say with such a gracious hear.... I'm waiting.